This I Believe...
A collection of views from UU church members
A collection of views from UU church members
This I Believe...
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Yvonne S. - September 2009
This I Believe...
By Yvonne S.
September 2009
I have been seeking my belief for six decades and feel hardly closer to a clear answer than
when I started.
I inherited my basic faith, as most people do, from my parents and grandparents – they
were all Catholics and as far as I can determine all were practicing Catholics. We attended
church as a family once my younger sister was old enough to sit still for an hour – before
that I went to church with my father – this was a special time with him as of course he
worked and as a small child I saw him briefly before bed time. Sundays we went to a
cathedral down town and my best memory is of the candles, incense and pageantry – it
was a wonderful show! As I grew older I attended a catholic school where religion was the
first class of the day – I really have no particular memory other than, on special feasts, we
did attend church as a class and again the pomp and circumstance and the smell is what
stays with me.
The religious study consisted of memorizing questions and answers from the blue
‘Baltimore Catechism’ – I still have no idea why the book was blue, or why it came from
Baltimore – the only other reference to Baltimore I had was the little birds or the baseball
team – I could not grasp any relationship from these. This is just one more Mystery! There
were a lot of Mysteries for children to accept – and Mysteries were not something we
would ever understand. I did try to ask my dad some questions but he was a good
catechism catholic and the book had rules and he just followed them – no questions – this
worked for him! He was a good man very loving, funny and strong! My mom’s faith was
rather vague and asking her questions lead to more fog – so I learned to leave things alone.
My dad served during the war and his ‘best buddy’ was the chaplain who visited us often
when I was young – I remember his visits as filled with laughter and great stories – he
would tell wonderful stories. He had a talent for reorganizing parishes which were
collapsing – the bishop would assign him to one church after another which was in ‘dire
straights’ – we occasionally visited his church – the services were always fun because he
was a great ‘fiddler’ and the first thing he did was get a choir and musicians together –
services were always a musical celebration. Often services were followed by a ‘pot-luck’–
singing and food!!! So by the time I entered my teens – church meant singing (I was never
very good) and food. Unfortunately when I was 15 we attended a funeral that he was
conducting for the mother of a friend and Fr Bernard collapsed and died at the grave site –
those gathered kept on singing as the EMS folks arrived. The summer before he died he left
me with a challenge – he said before you can have a real belief you need to set everything
aside – every faithful person needs to have been an atheist – the beliefs need to be your
own. I am still working on it!
Over the decades I attended church most Sundays – often dreaming or meditating through
the service – I went to church from habit. When I moved to Niagara Falls I wandered
around looking for a spiritual home. My parents were dead, my children grown – so I could
now look for what I needed. I found UU Niagara in the summer – I enjoyed the service, the
discussion, the friendship and the picnics.
I have always been a skeptic – but a quiet one – timid perhaps – I don’t rock the boat!
Investigating my religious heritage has brought me to a position not a conclusion. I don’t
believe in a ‘fatherly personal god’ – that seems to fantastical. I don’t like the concept of
‘organized religion’ there has been too much evil in the name of god. Letting go of heaven
and eternal life – even if it means playing a harp on a cloud forever – was not easy. I feel
there is something more than just individuals – there is community, there is love and there is
grace.
Many wise folks have existed in many societies – some are even alive today! The best
expression I have found is: “My life is like a twisted gnarled tree growing out of the humus
of my ancestors enlivened by the warm gentle wind of the breath of my love and
companion”.
By Yvonne S.
September 2009
I have been seeking my belief for six decades and feel hardly closer to a clear answer than
when I started.
I inherited my basic faith, as most people do, from my parents and grandparents – they
were all Catholics and as far as I can determine all were practicing Catholics. We attended
church as a family once my younger sister was old enough to sit still for an hour – before
that I went to church with my father – this was a special time with him as of course he
worked and as a small child I saw him briefly before bed time. Sundays we went to a
cathedral down town and my best memory is of the candles, incense and pageantry – it
was a wonderful show! As I grew older I attended a catholic school where religion was the
first class of the day – I really have no particular memory other than, on special feasts, we
did attend church as a class and again the pomp and circumstance and the smell is what
stays with me.
The religious study consisted of memorizing questions and answers from the blue
‘Baltimore Catechism’ – I still have no idea why the book was blue, or why it came from
Baltimore – the only other reference to Baltimore I had was the little birds or the baseball
team – I could not grasp any relationship from these. This is just one more Mystery! There
were a lot of Mysteries for children to accept – and Mysteries were not something we
would ever understand. I did try to ask my dad some questions but he was a good
catechism catholic and the book had rules and he just followed them – no questions – this
worked for him! He was a good man very loving, funny and strong! My mom’s faith was
rather vague and asking her questions lead to more fog – so I learned to leave things alone.
My dad served during the war and his ‘best buddy’ was the chaplain who visited us often
when I was young – I remember his visits as filled with laughter and great stories – he
would tell wonderful stories. He had a talent for reorganizing parishes which were
collapsing – the bishop would assign him to one church after another which was in ‘dire
straights’ – we occasionally visited his church – the services were always fun because he
was a great ‘fiddler’ and the first thing he did was get a choir and musicians together –
services were always a musical celebration. Often services were followed by a ‘pot-luck’–
singing and food!!! So by the time I entered my teens – church meant singing (I was never
very good) and food. Unfortunately when I was 15 we attended a funeral that he was
conducting for the mother of a friend and Fr Bernard collapsed and died at the grave site –
those gathered kept on singing as the EMS folks arrived. The summer before he died he left
me with a challenge – he said before you can have a real belief you need to set everything
aside – every faithful person needs to have been an atheist – the beliefs need to be your
own. I am still working on it!
Over the decades I attended church most Sundays – often dreaming or meditating through
the service – I went to church from habit. When I moved to Niagara Falls I wandered
around looking for a spiritual home. My parents were dead, my children grown – so I could
now look for what I needed. I found UU Niagara in the summer – I enjoyed the service, the
discussion, the friendship and the picnics.
I have always been a skeptic – but a quiet one – timid perhaps – I don’t rock the boat!
Investigating my religious heritage has brought me to a position not a conclusion. I don’t
believe in a ‘fatherly personal god’ – that seems to fantastical. I don’t like the concept of
‘organized religion’ there has been too much evil in the name of god. Letting go of heaven
and eternal life – even if it means playing a harp on a cloud forever – was not easy. I feel
there is something more than just individuals – there is community, there is love and there is
grace.
Many wise folks have existed in many societies – some are even alive today! The best
expression I have found is: “My life is like a twisted gnarled tree growing out of the humus
of my ancestors enlivened by the warm gentle wind of the breath of my love and
companion”.
